A Reflection on How Much We Really Need

My partner and I recently went away for a few days, a last minute trip booked the weekend prior. For the past five months we had been stuck in a routine of getting up and ready for work, going to work, coming home, having dinner, binging a TV series, scrolling social media, going to bed then doing it all again the next day. The days had become monotonous and I needed to get away to break the cycle.

A Quiet & Memorable Mini-Break

Normally when my partner and I go away, we make sure to pack as much into the time spent somewhere new: we have meals out, visit local tourist attractions and see the local sights, going to museums, churches and art galleries. However, this mini-break wasn't as jam packed as normal and we spent the majority of the few days doing very little and eating ready meals.

The main event of our trip was something we had never done before, a blacksmithing experience. I knew I wanted to get away, but didn’t care where to, so I left it to my partner to decide, who promptly found a place in Herefordshire that offered a dagger making session for two. Normally, my first reaction would be “that's expensive!”, however this time I shocked myself as the words “sure why not” fell out of my mouth. I’m not one for owning much, especially if it has no function, but this was an experience in which we made something together.

Time to Reflect

Whilst away, I found myself reflecting on what we actually need in life. We stayed in a cabin that was no bigger than 20m² (215ft²). It had an en-suite and living space with:

• a double bed with two bedside tables

• a small sofa & coffee table

• TV

• a single kitchen cabinet containing

  • mini-fridge & drawer complete with 2 plates, 2 side plates, 2 bowls, 2 mugs, 2 wine glasses & 2 of each cutlery

  • On top was a toaster, kettle & microwave

• a few decorative pieces; a rug, cushions, wall art & a shelf with some accessories

For two of us it felt plenty and I wondered if I could live with so little in such a small space forever.

"...if I had less clothes, I would not have been able to let the laundry pile up..."

Another thing I found myself thinking about whilst away was laundry! I like to clean the house, do the laundry and tidy up before I go on holiday (Is this something you do? Let me know down in the comments because my partner thinks I’m odd). Annoyingly, I hadn’t managed to do all this before we went away and waiting for me to return home were clothes on a drying rack and three loads of laundry that needed to be put on… Plus our holiday clothes. There is no escaping the laundry and to be fair some of it was bedding and towels, but I found myself thinking about how if I had less clothes, I would not have been able to let the laundry pile up and I would not have been on holiday thinking about what was waiting for me at home. 

Why Do We Keep Buying?

If I told you that on average you were exposed to a few hundred adverts everyday would you be shocked? Now, what if I told you the number is actually in the thousands! With such a bombardment of adverts, many telling you that there is something wrong with you, that you’re not good enough, or that you’re not a great parent or partner, etc. and that to resolve this you should purchase their product, no wonder we keep buying things!

Marketers have spent millions on research in order to sell their products. Through scientific research into human psychology, of our behaviour and habits, different marketing methods are utilised to keep you buying more and more. A key component of selling is to fix a problem… But if there isn’t a problem to be fixed, then that problem has to be created, which is why many adverts imply a negativity about you. People do not want to feel like they are a failure, that they are ugly, unloved or that they are a terrible parent, so they buy the products that will ‘fix’ them and when that doesn’t work, they are led to believe that it’s just the wrong product for them. Consequently, people can feel more like a failure if they cannot find the right thing to fix them.

A little retail therapy anyone? Buying new things can make us feel better, but this happiness is often short lived. Going shopping in an attempt to make ourselves feel better or to relieve boredom can be a slippery slope and can lead to financial problems, which can negatively impact our mental health. I know the lure of shopping to make myself feel better. Occasionally, I still to do it, but I’m better at putting stuff back before I reach the tills because I know this impulsive purchase won’t help and quite often can lead to me feeling even worse!

How Much is Enough

How do you know how much you really need? Simply by working out how many items you can or want to manage and the space available to store these items. Kitchen items, books, kids toys, DVDs, clothes, towels, bedding, blankets and pillows are all common items that we can end up with an abundance of. If you don’t have the space to store these items, it may mean you have too many.

From personal experience, less than what you think you need is enough. We used to have lots of cups, mugs, bowls, plates and cutlery, which allowed us to be lazy with washing up. The dirty dishes would pile up at the side of the sink and tensions arose over who was going to wash up because the task became a bigger chore than what it would have been if there were only a few dishes. Now, we only have a few dishes, cups and cutlery, which means we have to wash up everyday and because there's less to clean, it does not feel like a major chore to do so. 

"If you choose your sanity over excess possessions, you need to be comfortable with decluttering..."

I cannot give you a specific number of how much is enough. If you are feeling overwhelmed or stressed in your home, you need to decide what is most important; your mental sanity or duplicates. Consider how many of each item type can you use at once, for example if you have two beds in the house, you can only use two sets of bedding at once or if there are only four people in the house, you can only use four cups at once. If you choose your sanity over excess possessions, you need to be comfortable with decluttering and not having just in case items, which are a common clutter item in our homes.

The Bottom Line

We didn’t spend much whilst away, we forwent the expensive meals out in favour of £3 ready meals, yet we still enjoyed our time away and it achieved what I needed it to do… It helped break up the monotonous cycle, with the added bonus of time to reflect.

My partner and I do not have a lot of possessions as it is and getting away, having access to less of our things allows me to reflect on life’s necessities. It reminds me that we don’t actually need a lot.

When deciding how much is enough in your home, you should do this for yourself. Take a mini-break and pay attention to how nice it feels not having to spend so much time tidying up or feeling stressed for no reason. Take a mini break away from the bombardment of advertisements and reflect on how much you really need.